Hi everyone,
This is your first cousin Henrik, I miss you all, and this is my testimony with love: (Happy Easter =])
As a child, I was scared of going to hell. What if it's real? What if people really do burn in hell forever and ever? What if people really do go to hell when they die? I didn’t want to take any chances. I didn’t want to end up in hell one day thinking that I could have done something about my destiny instead of wasting time with video games or going out with friends.
So at age 8 or 9, I learned that God is just and that He has to punish sins by pouring out His wrath onto sinners. I also learned that God is also loving. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). We are saved because Jesus took the punishment of sin on Himself. We only need to put faith in Jesus, and that infinite punishment that we deserved for our infinitely evil crimes against God. Jesus paid the price on the cross. He took the hit. He bore God’s wrath for us on the cross, died, and rose again in three days (this is what Easter sunday is about). As we reflect on how God so loved us, we love God back, repent of our sins, and joyfully obey Him in gratitude. This is the gospel of Jesus Christ, the good news.
But at around age 12, I learned that some people who go to church, who lead Bible studies, who pray, who emphatically say that Jesus is their Lord and Savior are actually going to hell (Matthew 7:22-23; 2 Cor 5:17).
They say that Jesus is their Lord, but they rarely think about Jesus.
They say they love God, but they don’t read the Bible everyday.
They say that they are followers of Jesus, but they don’t obey all of His commands, only the ones that are convenient and easy to follow.
They say that they have a relationship with Jesus, but they don’t communicate to Jesus through prayer, maybe only before meals.
Even if they do read the Bible and pray, they only do it in order to go to heaven, or they only do it to look good in front of other people at church.
That sounded like me. Am I a true believer? Have I really put faith in Jesus? I would see other believers and see how they loved God in response to the good news. I would see people obeying Jesus with a cheerful heart in response to what Jesus has done for them on the cross. Those are the marks of a true believer. I wanted those marks. I wanted to desire God in that way. I wanted to enjoy prayer, church, and reading the Bible. I wanted to be sure that I was a true believer.
After years and years of trying to love God, I realized that I can’t do it. God wasn’t a physical Being who I could touch with my hands, hear with my ears, and see with my eyes. How can I love someone like that? It’s impossible for me, I can't make myself love God. I finally came to the point where I was getting depressed, desperate and hopeless. Why can't I desire God in that way? How can I be saved?
But by God’s grace, I soon realized, that that’s how I am supposed to come to God. HOPELESS.
Hopeless not only in terms of circumstance, "I have no money, I have no family"
not only in terms of sin, “I have committed many crimes against God, I need a savior”
but also in terms of, "I can't love God on my own. My desires don't seem to be changing"
God told me, “Henrik that’s the point of the gospel. I forgive your sins through Jesus, and I give you the faith necessary for Jesus’ blood to cover you. I give you that reliance on Me. I give you that saving faith. I am glorified in saving you and I am glorified in giving you the reliance on me to save you."
So in summary, I was scared of hell. I realized I needed to put faith in Christ to be saved. Then I realized that it is impossible by my own ability to put genuine faith in Christ. Then I turned to God for help. I turned to Christ for help. And that turning to Christ for help,THAT IS GENUINE FAITH. and THAT IS ALL GOD’S WORKING.
I said, “Jesus, I feel hopeless because I don’t know for sure if I put my faith in you. Help me.”
and Jesus said, “I have been helping you this whole time. I first helped you understand how hopeless you are. Then I used that understanding to make you turn to me for help. And see, it worked. You are already putting genuine faith in me as you ask for help”
I still consider myself a young believer. God is making me love Him more and more everyday. It’s amazing, I didn’t think that I would reach this point in my relationship with God. It’s true, God speaks, I can hear Him. God provides grace, I have been receiving it.
And it is my desire as your cousin that you experience the same thing. That you may be saved, and that you may have a relationship with Jesus, the only source of true and everlasting joy.
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Is Hell realistic?
Jonathan Edwards says, “if God be infinitely worthy of love, honor, and obedience, then... our obligation to love, honor, and obey him (and so to avoid all sin) is infinitely great. Sin is the violation of infinite obligation, and so is an infinite evil. Sin being an infinite evil, deserves an infinite punishment. An infinite punishment is no more than it deserves.”
God is just, He won’t just sweep your crimes under the rug and pretend they never happened because He is “loving”. Judges here on earth don’t let murderers go off the hook. No matter how many times a murderer shows remorse for his crime, the judge will punish him. God will punish us too. It says in Romans 6:23, the wages of sin is death. Spiritual death. If God just swept our offenses under the rug and pretended that they never happened, He would be unjust, thus contradicting His character. Hell is real.
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Tests to see if you are a true believer:
If you ended up in hell, would you still love God? If your answer is no, then that means that you only loved God because of His promise of salvation and not because of who He is.
Or how about this one from John Piper: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with
heaven, if Christ were not there? " If your answer is yes that you could be satisfied, then that means you don’t really love God, but only the things He can give you.
It’s amazing because even if you answered correctly to these questions, you would never know if your proclamation was indeed from your heart. Remember when Peter denied Jesus three times? Mark 14:31 says, “But he said emphatically, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same.” See the word emphatically! And then he denied Jesus not once, but three times!
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Dear Lord,
Please save every soul that reads this testimony.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
