Life is full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys. What humans don't like about life...is the trials, pain, suffering, emptiness, hopelessness.
Oh Lord! But if that's what it takes to praise You,
to learn love, joy, peace, patience
to love You,
to realize how beautiful and glorious You are,
to realize how much You love me,
if that's what it takes to give up ownership over my life and surrender it all to You!
Jesus... BRING THE RAIN!
May God be glorified...May He be lifted higher!
WARNING: Sorry I do not include much Biblical basis for what I'm about to say(sleepy), but I have this passage =] Question me with Scripture, so what I say won't be heresy.
1 Timothy 1:14-17
14The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 17Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
God is faithful...
I'm sure you can just say it and just nod your head. You can hear it and just nod your head.. But think about it...
Did it hit you?
haha sike well it's amazing isn't it.
God is so loving... so faithful... so patient...
People reject God daily. Not only non-Christians, but Christians as well. By sin...
Do you realize that God had to send His son Jesus to die for our sin, since sin is what separates us from God? Jesus had to die...
And yet we still sin everyday. We continue to do the act that separates us from God. We put up barriers between us and God. We load more sin onto Jesus's back, that each time we sin, God takes up His wrath on His son Jesus.(I'm not so sure about this actually)
If you are in a relationship, get this, imagine if you caught him/her cheating on you. Or committing adultery with someone else.
Imagine, and that's what we do everyday to God...
We reject and push away...we build up walls.
Do you get it? How would you feel if someone you loved started putting up walls, started pushing you away, started rejecting you? I can tell you it's hard to deal with... heartbreaking..heartshattering
Feel it, God may be feeling this everyday, and not only that, but it's THAT TIMES TEN(or infinity) since God loves you MORE THAN you can love anyone else.
It is just sooooo tempting to just reject that person back isn't it. It is soooo tempting to just forget them and leave them forever...its soooo easy to stop being faithful. because it bothers me that much. That's how much it bothers me. It's a defense mechanism caused by my selfishness.
HOW DARE YOU REJECT ME! HOW INSULTING YOU LITTLE....UNGRATEFUL..CHILD! YOU FOOL!!!! (check this out, how selfish is this, how jealous this is. ...This implies that you are greater than the other person. Why would you react like that? Why? Because it attacks your glory. It attacks your reputation, your PRIDE....This implies that you are what?...in simple terms....GOD)
Sometimes I wish I was more like Jesus so I wouldn't be bothered or discouraged, so that I wouldn't be tempted to just reject that person back....if I only get rid of my selfishness, then I wouldn't feel that way right?
but Jesus was bothered by it right? God hurts for those doesn't He? When God gets rejected, doesn't He feel that pain? So why can't I?
But I don't deserve anything. I am nothing. God is the most beautiful, most glorious, most holy, and he deserves EVERYTHING. He deserves the glory, the honor, and the praise, the worship. He is the only one who deserves to get hurt, He is the only one who has the RIGHT to reject someone back when they reject Him,
"God is good and great and we thank you for our food, by His hands we must be fed give us Lord our daily bread. Amen." -hmm..I don't know where I learned this prayer...
Whenever I pray for my food, I find myself praying this prayer that I have been praying for a lonng time. It doesn't rhyme...haha I think as a child I switched the words "great" and "good"
But anyways I'm not blogging about this prayer in particular...however it does seem kinda wrong to pray...when by His hands we don't HAVE to be fed. It isn't a MUST. But rather it is an expression of His grace and His love. God is expressing His love for us by doing so. We don't deserve food, we don't deserve anything. NO! but if anything, we deserve death and eternal separation from God because of our sin. "The wages of sin is death" (Romans 6:23)
And just keeping this in my mind I just feel so blessed. Just recently I guess I feel as if like, total satisfaction in God. Like right now I just, I don't know. I feel like my life is perfect? and I just feel SO blessed right now. haha.
Perfect not to say that I got everything under control. Not to say that I am sinless. Not to say that I don't have struggles. Not to say that everything is going the way I want. Not the way I want. ME I wish I could double capitalize the "I" for emphasis. But what I'm saying is....
When I say perfect, I mean not according to the way I want things to go, rather, that things are going the way God wants for them to go. In a way, things are actually going the way things I want to go because God gives us the desires of our heart. Whatever God wants to happen, I want to happen to. Even if it's something that I don't want to happen, I want it to happen. Makes sense?
Just recently I feel so at peace and I know its not about feelings, but how can you not feel at peace knowing that God is in control and is holding you?
Philippians 4:6-7 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-picture taken from http://www.panoramio.com/photo/11318842
Change is hard to deal with sometimes. I mean change is nice. I once told Aaron about how things are going in my life, and he told me that my life is very colorful. And people tell me sometimes that my life is like a drama...(or maybe I'm just a great storyteller =P)
I think I'd have to agree with Aaron. I recently started commuting to the university, and I'd say it is really different compared to when I lived on campus. I feel more freedom kinda. Which is totally wrong since living on campus is like absolute freedom haha. But I don't know, I guess I feel more like an adult?
I just realized how much life has changed, I feel like I am starting different chapters. Life throws something new at me every time.
But anyways, this is not what I meant to talk about...haha
But yeah, it is kinda sad how things change. How relationships with people change. Especially with a close friend. When that person is not as close anymore. At times it can bother me, but I mean, God's love is great enough to soothe any wound.
This blog post isn't about change really, but change in relationships, I guess. That change, when you go through a time when friendship fades. The degree of pain is proportional to the degree of how close you were to that person.
Having that in mind, sometimes I wonder.
Some people in my church are starting to leave. Like as youth group everyone is getting old and are thinking about moving. It is kinda sad and I try not to get too close with the ones who are planning to leave because I don't want to miss them too much. =/
I guess that goes for high school too. One of the main reasons why I didn't pursue high school friendships was because I knew I was leaving them in 4 years. So I didn't see the point. I thought that church was the best place to spend because I would always be with them even after I graduate.
When I was in middle school, in eighth grade my best friend was going to move. It was kinda sad. It was a thought that I had in seventh grade too, because I was thinking about going to a magnet school. Just thinking that I would have to leave all my friends was kinda sad. I wasn't using internet then, and I wasn't too good at the phone so it was like I would never see my friends again....and that has happened to me many times before because I move.
I look at the seniors '09 from KCM and sometimes ask them how they feel and stuff. They say that they are still close with the same people but never see them as much as before. And I know Joe was getting sad about how he was leaving his new youth kids when he was going to Florida.
I wonder about my friends in college too...who knows in four years, all of my close friends now may leave and have their own lives. They might move to different places. And I might be stuck in grad school on my own...we might all separate
but I guess that is a part of life huh...things change...we are not in control of that, God is...
I've just been thinking all day today... change can be difficult...friendship fades, people come and people go...
it is hard to lose a close friend, your best friend...and it gets harder when you see them everyday...
This isn't a serious blog...but I thought this was interesting (ambiguous). I was reading Psalm 24 the other day and then I read this...
Psalm 24:3-6 3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ? Who may stand in his holy place? 4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false. [a] 5 He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior. 6 Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. [b] Selah
I instantly realized that Chris Tomlin based his song Give Us Clean Hands, on this song. I was like woah....haha but yeah...
Isn't it kinda weird how I knew the song before I knew this verse. I mean I don't know...I guess it kinda goes to show how I don't read the Bible as much as a "normal Christian" would/should, =/ but yeah anyways, I like how Chris Tomlin uses scripture in his songs =]
I'd say for the past couple days I haven't been able to sleep properly. It's not because I am used to sleeping late. But just because I don't feel like it... Like I know I need to sleep early, I was planning to today, but I guess...I don't know, even though I'm really sleepy, I just don't feel like sleeping.
I guess I just have a lot of stuff on my mind lately...
Along with sleeping problems, I've been having a hard time concentrating. It's been hard talking to other people, especially when talking about theological stuff. I just feel like I can't comprehend what they are trying to say. Like this John Piper book, When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight For Joy. I got back to reading it the other day and decided to start over so I could understand the book better. But I just ended up getting more confused. I couldn't even comprehend the words, that I have already comprehended.
Especially in Bible studies, when Matt Chung is leading, I can't comprehend what he's saying sometimes. Fearful fear? what? And also during prayer requests, sometimes I can't catch too easily what they're saying. I really have to try hard to understand....
Or just talking to Brendon and Joe. Sometimes I would ask them something and they would say something that appears to be on topic, however doesn't have much to do with what I asked. I mean it's not their fault. I think it's mine, because I am so out of it. I just get confused even more. And sometimes I would ask my pastor some questions and I would just get confused even more. I don't know how what he said really applies to my question. I guess because they aren't blunt with their answers. They make me try to answer my own question by presenting Biblical truth. And all I have to do is apply these truths and definitions.
It's really late right now, but I don't really care. I am just staring at my screen aimlessly......
So I just got back from the freshmen beach trip. It is summer time so I guess we're not really freshmen anymore, but rather incoming sophomores. (Some people, such as Vincent, call us "Freshmores")
The people who went were Wilkin, Suzie, Cheryl, Angel, Eunkyu Lee (haha), Minsung, Vincent, Jarren, Mikey, Albert, and me. Pictures taken from Cheryl Tam, Wilkin Cheung, and Vincent Ho. I hope you all don't mind, tee hee thanks guys! hahaha =D
We went to Virginia Beach. It was relaxing and stressful at the same time. I am actually really tired right now and was throughout the whole trip. During car rides I would basically just fall asleep. And if no one is talking to me, I become so sleepy. The only reason I was able to stay awake all the time was because I was always busy doing stuff and going through constant interactions with other people. I am so sleepy right now typing. I feel like I am in a college lecture room right now...
Anyways, I'll just run through what we did: ------------------------------------- Friday: (I only know these times because it was part of the itinerary and anyways I have good memory for small things, especially social things =P) 7:40am: Alarms go off 7:50am: Wake up finally 8:40am: Wilkin picks me up and Albert is already in the car, we pick up Vincent (he smiles before entering the car like always), we head towards the university 9:30: Arrive at university, meet Mikey at stamp Later: Angel and Jarren arrive...we all go get number 2 from the Mcdonalds menu haha except Wilkin and Mikey...then Cheryl and Suzie arrive. Then we distribute snacks that we each individually bought and take a while to get ready to leave XD
I rode with Cheryl and Suzie and then Jarren and Mikey rode with Angel and then Albert and Vincent rode with Wilkin. We drove for quite some time (until 2?) until we all decided to go use the bathroom at a truck stop haha. Then we drove for an even longer time...I don't know exactly but I think we all went to use the bathroom again at some other place...? maybe for gas?
We finally got to our destination at like around 6? So it was like 7 hours of driving because of traffic, there was a 7 mile back up and we were thinking about taking local routes the last 30 minutes, but it took like two more hours because we were supposed to arrive at 3:50 according to the GPS...We checked in and everything and decided to go eat dinner since we haven't eaten all day and walked around the boardwalk, or not boardwalk but the beach/beach stores/beach restaurants...
We ate at some place with American food. Me and Vincent got philly cheese steaks and mozzarella sticks...each stick was worth one dollar...haha amazing, what a rip off...Jarren ate our leftovers...haha after already eating so much in Angel's car on the way to the beach.
Then we walked around and saw some guy playing with fire in the street. He was trying to do a magic show, but I thought of him more as a comedian because his tricks weren't all that great. We also saw some people doing open air preaching. They were holding up signs that were telling people to repent. However there was no one there listening or stopping. Not even we did.
Then we went to a haunted house. I wasn't too scared about it. But then I went in and it was only me, Vincent, and Mikey. It was really dark, I was actually scared, I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. There were no strange noises I can't remember, but there were weird pictures. It was mostly just weird pictures and statues. Occasionally a puff of air or splash of water, or some random loud noise. It was so dark, I was walking into walls. I originally started walking slow because I heard there were going to be people trying to separate us? And also I kept hearing screams, I was really scared and in anticipation the whole time for something REALLY scary. I was walking really fast towards the end and me and Vincent realized that there was nothing scary at all. Even the scary voices that the workers did...honestly the quality of the intercom was bad, like it was probably the same as a school intercom or even like the ones from McDonalds asking to take my order. "ooOooOo may I take your order?" I'd say the workers could have done way more to scare me, but they were fooling around too much. What a waste of $7, however it was funny to see Vincent get mad at Mikey for clinging onto his shirt and being scared. Mikey ripped a hole in Vincent's shirt.
After that we went to go walk on the beach. The atmosphere was really nice. Especially the water was warmer than normal and I just liked how it was dark and the light from the stores were shining onto the beach. It was just cozy. Surrounded by light from stores and light from sky, at the same time being dark? Actually I don't remember if I saw many stars, but I admired the atmosphere created by the store lights. It seemed that the massive sea wasn't a sea of darkness and mystery, rather it was a protecting front from the rest of the world...if that makes sense. We would just stand at the shore and feel the waves a little bit pulling us deeper into the sand. We then took pictures by an unoccupied (vacant?) lifeguard seat haha.
Later on we went to Häagen-Dazs and some of us ate some milkshakes and smoothies. Mikey order one for me and him and then we were all just talking so much like about food and stuff (how Angel worked at Yogiberry) that he almost didn't pay haha. Awkward...
We all then went back to the hotel and took showers. We then played mahjong and Lee and Minsung finally arrived. We hung out for a bit until 3:30 am...learning and playing mahjong... ------------------------------------- Saturday: We woke up around 5 am...or maybe it was 5:30 and had like two hours of sleep. I felt like I had slept for four hours, but Vincent and a couple other people kept saying how they felt like they felt like they just closed their eyes and then had to wake up. I didn't want to say anything about how much rest I felt I got...haha
I rode with Wilkin and it was really tough to find parking, we missed the sunrise. However, we found a really nice spot where it was really open and it was basically just us on the beach. I liked being able to see the sun without having my eyes hurt. The beach was nice too, there were not that many waves and it is always nice just feeling the water on my feet. The sky was beautiful =] Clouds always remind me of paintings...weird huh...how ironic, just goes to show how "civilized" we are...
We then all went to head back to sleep. We first went to get free complimentary breakfast and then me, Vincent, and Mikey stayed at the breakfast place of the hotel and just talked about how we were incoming sophomores. We then went back to our rooms. Jarren and Minsung were fast asleep in our rooms and me and Vincent couldn't go back to sleep so we just watched TV and played cards. Jarren and Minsung woke up soon enough.
Get this...these two people were the first ones to sleep. Minsung, because he was tired from driving, kept saying, "oo mann o mann" when he arrived haha but yea I don't blame him. Jarren wanted to sleep because he didn't feel like playing mahjong. So Jarren and Minsung went to sleep first as in not 3am, then they didn't want to wake up for the sunrise, so they slept even more. Jarren was boasting, "Man I got 6 hours of sleep while on vacation!" They went to go eat breakfast before it closed. Me and Vincent then just watched TV and did whatever. I think we were watching videos on my iTouch. Jarren and Minsung then arrived and Minsung went back to sleep. He didn't want to sleep though, but he couldn't do anything because everyone was sleeping.
Me, Vincent, and Jarren decided to talk about things like different preachers, such as Benny Hinn, different denominations such as Pentecostal and different ideas about Calvinism vs Arminianism. Jarren stated that depending on what you believe, you can be restricted by how much you can grow...with the basis that there are not many good, strong Arminian preachers.
By the time everyone woke up, we all decided to meet and do a devotional time. It lasted somewhat long. Jarren talked about many analogies about sin and the sand, walking away from sin. We then talked about open air preaching. I think we talked about our spiritual walks and many people that I talked to recently told me that they have been "spiritually dry." I'm not too sure about what that exactly means.
Then we went to Five Guys. Yes, again another burger/American greasy food place...we all got our food and then we all prayed together before eating. It thought it was nice...language and culture dominated our discussions. The whole time I was learning how to say phrases like, "what did you order?" "what are you ordering?" in cantonese.
A nice part of our trip...after we finished eating, a lady by the name of Kathy Goodman or Cathy Goodman? She came up to us and gave us a napkin with writing on it.
"May God bless you young people richly! Always...always! follow Christ regardless of the cost!"
Jarren caught eye of it and me and him rushed out to go find her. Wilkin came behind too and ran with us. We saw her before she got into her car and she immediately closed her door and walked up to us. It was kind of weird...She seemed to have the expression, "Oh here they are...they came to find me..." I am glad Jarren is one of those talkative people because I wouldn't have known what to say to her. But Jarren simply just told her more about ourselves and KCM. She seemed really interested in us, but I can say, it didn't seem she was too enthusiastic about meeting us. She simply just asked questions as if she was asking for directions, "so what college are you guys from? (so I make a right here and then pass two lights?)" I'm just calling it like it is. But she did say some encouraging words (and these said with more enthusiasm). She told us how important it is for us to keep our faith. She encouraged us stay strong in our faith and told us that without a doubt, there will be tough times in our lives, because it is hard to live. She told us that she was observing us, the way we waited for each other to pray, the way we conducted ourselves. She said that we are not the "typical group". And she said she sensed that we were real christians rather than "christians." She even made the 'quote gesture' with her two fingers when she said "christians." haha I thought it was nice of her to encourage us, and yet kinda stressing, or burdening, or I don't know. Just knowing that there are going to be tough times. It isn't something good to hear...in a way...but I always knew anyways we were going to suffer for Christ and face hardship to help refine and sanctify us.
Then after we headed towards the beach. In the car I just kept practicing my cantonese with Vincent. We finally got parked and paid $20 to park somewhere for the whole day...amazing, again I use it to say, "man what a rip off." In the car was me, Angel, Wilkin, and Vincent. We all decided to go through all the stores. I don't know why, but we spent an hour just looking through stores and seeing whatever was being sold. We saw this one place where everything changes color when exposed to UV rays, or the sun...that was kinda cool. Then Suzie kept calling and telling us to meet her. So we finally headed off to the beach. We all had to pee though.. so we went to hotels and peed.
The beach wasn't as fun as I hoped. We just went in the water for about 40 min and the rest of the time we played games on the beach. We played mafia (amazingly Minsung was mafia for all three rounds) and some noun game me, Wilkin, Angel, and Vincent learned at Chesed. Playing in the water was really fun. I like swimming through the waves. It is almost like flying sometimes...We played with Lee and his board. We were playing some slap game, with the board as our table.
The highlight of the beach:
There's nothing else to say...haha Just in case this video got deleted. Basically we buried people in sand. We buried Mikey and then Jarren tried to attract some seagulls by throwing a trail of bread to Mikey. It was just funny because Mikey couldn't do anything about it. He was stuck. It was just funny haha. He was trying to get out and kept yelling, "JARREN JARREN! Not funny guys, NOT funny."
We then decided to leave the beach and go back to the hotels. We all took showers, I think, and then met up to eat dinner. We all bought and brought so much food, we decided not to waste the ramen and just eat them there in the hotel. We used coffee makers to like get the hot water, and some of us went downstairs to get hot water. There were a lot of like wafers and crackers to eat too. I was playing with my cellphones ability to play beats haha.
After dinner/rest, we decided to just play some games. Lee was kinda disappointed because he wanted to go out because he missed the previous day traveling on the beach. But oh well...haha...we played first scategories, which is a game Cheryl brought. It was fun to see the weird things we came up with. Me and Angel ended up winning with 31 points after like 5 rounds. WEEEE everyone was surprised because we came up with the weirdest things for each category XD.
Next came charades, which was fun and loud. Me, Mikey, Wilkin, Angel, and Lee vs Vincent, Cheryl, Minsung, Suzie, and Jarren. And these are the respective pairs for people who had to act. When it was my turn to act, so was Vincents. When it was Mikeys, it was Cheryls etc. Albert was like coming up with words for us. He came up with a lot of good ones like Genghis Kahn hahaha that Angel had to act out. Albert was amazed at how quick we were at getting things. Everytime he was like, "What?! How did you guys get it so fast?"
Next game was this post-it game. It reminds me of The Office when they had post-its on their foreheads and they had to ask yes or no questions to figure out what noun was written on their foreheads. Well anyways, it was really interesting and challenging. The funniest one was probably Minsung. He asked, "is mine an animal?" It was a seagull, but then next time he had to ask a question he was like, "mine's an animal right? Oh I know what it is, seagull" haha it was funny because he had such confidence it was seagull after only knowing it was an animal. Another funny one was Suzie's. She had Pooh and she couldn't figure it out. She was asking, "mine is a bear? a fictional bear? a popular cartoon bear? is yellow and wear's a red shirt...I can't figure it out" haha another funny thing was when people would ask a question, some of us would pretend to be hesitant...haha cracks me up.. Example: Jarren has Snorlax Jarren: Is mine a pokemon? Everyone: YES Me: ehh well...ehh I dont kno..ehh..it could be...I mean sometimes...I guess...eh most likely...ehh Me and Lee: hahahaha
haha just because it's annoying to have an answer like that when you ask a yes or no question. Isn't that annoying? It just confuses you about what yours is. Me and Lee were doing that to throw people off and make them wonder. Even if its an obvious yes, we were cracking up because we would throw people off. But then of course we told them we were just joking. haha
After that night the hotel room was really dirty, so I changed into sleeping clothes and did some cleaning. After that we ended up sleeping around 3am. We all decided not to go see sunrise because we were all tired. --------------------------------- Sunday: I slept with Minsung both nights, but when I woke up on Sunday, Minsung was gone. He had to leave early so he wasn't there. I had the bed all to myself. Then Jarren called and woke me up at 9. I told him to wake me up so we could go get breakfast. So we did. We went downstairs and there were so many people. I didn't want to bring up a lot of food because it would make me look like a jerk haha. So I only brought enough food for me and Vincent. Mikey and Jarren on the other hand brought soo much food. haha we left some leftovers when we checked out XD.
We were trying to leave the hotel at 11 so we thought about having devotions and breakfast around 10 10:30ish. So we anticipated that everyone would take forever to wake up so we decided to wake up everyone around 9:30. Everyone started getting pissed off at me hahahaha XD I just got so disappointed. But I can't blame them, they were tired. I was just pissed off kinda too because I mean I was awake. I woke up earlier than them and everything. I guess I was getting mad because they were getting mad at me. But anyways I decided to read Psalm 73. Then I decided to just rest and think about life and I think I ended up falling asleep because Lee was telling me to go sleep on the bed. But then I was telling him I was thinking.
We all ended up meeting at like, I forgot...haha but yea I ate some waffles and biscuit with sausage in between and a bunch of snacks. Then Lee wanted to try the noodles that I bought. Apprently they were filipino. So me, Lee, and Wilkin took my noodles and went down to fill them with water. The rest of the time we were just watching TV. I forgot what they were watching, I think Jarren got excited about ESPN that morning because he shouted it. So I guess they were watching some ESPN related stuff.
It was like 11:40 when we checked out. We all decided to go to the beach for Lee since he wasn't able to walk around as much. I rode with Angel, Vincent, and Jarren. Vincent brought his fm adapter so we listened to Jarren's iTouch. Since it was Sunday...haha...we listened to a sermon by Francis Chan titled The Resurrection: So What? I really like this sermon because it says,
"I just wanna ask everyone a question right now and I want you to all think about it, I don't want you to just nod your head and immediately respond. I want you to think about it. And the question is this: would you want to know the truth about God...even if...it's completely different from what you currently believe?"
Longest pause ever haha then me, Angel, Jarren, and Vincent started talking and were wondering if it was paused. But really...think about it
Would you want to know the truth about God...even if...it's completely different from what you currently believe?
Francis Chan also says this:
"I refuse to believe in it...you refuse? What if it's true? I still refuse to believe in it...you know why....most people's belief systems are based upon desire and not truth...every once in a while there'll be a person who pursues truth, absolute truth, and you can tell those people because they end up believing some things they don't want to believe"
These are just the points that really stood out to me.
We all then arrived on the beach and went through all the stores. Me, Vincent, Angel, and Wilkin did this the previous day, but we did it again with everyone else. We didn't stay that long and decided to go and head on our way. Hmm did I talk about every single ride? XD well anyways on this ride, it was nothing big, we just listened to music, like praise songs and Vincent's sleep mix on his itouch. It was kinda funny because Vincent needed to hold his itouch a certain way the whole time and he was trying to sleep, but he couldn't because if he fell asleep, there would be static in the speakers..haha so he just ended up awake. And then Jarren would be falling asleep too and randomly make comments while we were talking haha.
We ended up going to Burger King...yes...another...fastfood/american food place... Hmm I forgot what we were talking about there haha but I was practicing my cantonese again. I remember me, Wilkin, and Vincent ordered Angry what's it called? But whatever it was, it was "angry" haha
We then left and were thinking about going to some outlets to go shopping, but it was taking forever, so we just ended up going straight to Honey Pig (gooldwegi).
It was cool, on the way to Honey Pig it was me, Vincent, Angel, and Mikey. We were talking about convictions. And I guess we came to the conclusion that its all about the person who has the conviction. Taking music as an example, if a person is not paying attention to the lyrics, then the song doesn't mean anything. But yeah, maybe I'll save this for another post XD I need to reorganize my thoughts. But yeah, it was cool because we were all talking about it together.
Ok..last part of the trip...haha We finally arrived at Honey Pig. The inside reminded me of a lot dramas. Like when people go out to eat or go out on dates in the street. That's what it looked like. I guess that's what they were going for. It was like as if we were eating in the streets. It felt kinda dirty and the bathroom too reminded me of those bathrooms in the movies like when the characters are at gas station in the middle of nowhere. But yeah, I don't know what we ate, but Lee ordered. The people there made a mistake with our order, and then Lee was like talking to them and then it seemed like they were getting mad at Lee, but he said that no they weren't mad. Haha I don't know exactly, I mean I don't understand Korean XD. But yeah, the food was good. It seemed like it wasn't a lot, but at the same time it felt like it was a lot. I don't know why I just said that. But anyways I got extremely full, and I felt bad when we got extra rice bowls. *shakes head* Everytime I'm with Wilkin, Vincent, and Angel, they always make me finish all the food. But anyways, yeah I ate like an extra half of a rice bowl. Something that I liked there was how they gave us like these huge lettuce kinda leaves. They would be like twice the size of our hands. Anyways, I would put meat and sauces and rice, and then I would fold it so that it was kinda like a burrito? or some kinda wrap. But yeah, it was good and apparently we're supposed to just stuff the whole thing in our mouth at once. I thought that was cool haha and then the meat was hot and it would like burn the inside of my mouth, that was not cool. But yeah, I think that was my favorite part of the experience, even though those lettuce leaves were all wet and my hands always got wet. It was definitely messy too (esp. if not eating it in one bite).
Ok so now it was like really late. I think it was 8 or 9 but now we were on our way home. I rode with Lee, Vincent, Albert, and Wilkin. In the car we were just playing this game, kinda like 20 questions. The nouns that me and Vincent had to guess were like stomachache? and thunder? Something weird like those. Yeah, it was a nice fun game to play...relaxing...I really like driving at night. Well I like to be in someone's car at night. It is just so like nice, you can see all around you, but no one can see you. The dashboard is right in front of you and glowing and you can just look around and see all the lights.
Wee, I am finally done with this post. I was thinking about like making it longer with reflections on the bottom. That was the original plan, but I'll save those for other blog posts. This one is long enough!!!
Psalm 73 1Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. 2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. 3 For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. 4 They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. [a] 5 They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills. 6 Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence. 7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity [b] ; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits. 8 They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression. 9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth. 10 Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. [c] 11 They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?" 12 This is what the wicked are like— always carefree, they increase in wealth. 13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
O Father... These wicked people. Why do they get to have what they want. All the time. Why does everything seem to work out for them. They are not miserable. I am miserable. Lord Father, even my christian brothers and sisters. They continue doing things that I don't think are right. But they think there's nothing wrong with it? Why, Father? Why can't I do those things? Why am I given the convictions...even after they hear my convictions, they just say, "o." They don't think its necessary. But Lord, every pastor says its necessary. Every book out there says its necessary. So why not these friends of mine? O Lord why do they prosper. Why when I do the right thing and they do the wrong thing, they prosper. I'm here Lord trying to do all the things you told me to do. It is so tempting to slip and just do what my fellow Christian brothers are doing. It is so tempting to just do what they are doing. O Lord how long do I have to endure this hardship. How long will this go on? What can I do? Whatever I do, I will just get heartbroken. I will lose something. Every path leads to pain. What can I do? Pain follows me wherever I go. How about my Christian brothers? They seem to be happy all the time. And I know Lord that perhaps they are not happy deep down. But I can't think that way anymore. Who am I kidding? They are happy Lord. They are. So why can't I? Why does every situation turn out that way? Not every situation turns out that way?
21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
O Lord, when things go against me, I forget so easily. I forget You Father. I forget that You are next to me, crying with me, looking at me with compassion telling me, "Henrik hold on...hold on...hang in there..."
Lord give me strength to stay faithful. Lord help me to remember You. May I no longer be sorrowed by things of this Earth, but by things that break Your heart.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.
So...basically this is a freewrite...(well aren't all blogs freewrites)
But meaning to say, I don't really have that much to say about this topic. I am simply recording this down because mainly it is something like a 'click' a 'realization'...if you will...(hahahaha I sound like an intellectual)
It is like the same as when I realized that every person is selfish. I used to think like, "but how about some non-christians who do good?" and I came to the realization that non-christians aren't EVER doing anything "good." Most (all haha) of the time they are doing it for themselves, for their own glory. I have to question WHY they do those things, if not for God...then for themselves? If not for themselves...then for their friends...BUT why for their friends? because their friends make them happy...because their friends do something for THEM...so basically its for themselves...
Anyways that's not the point of this post...
I was really confused today with the laws of the Old Testament. Basically there's three:
Judicial(Civil), Ceremonial, and Moral.
I am sorry that I don't have time to discuss this in further depth as to why they are fulfilled by Jesus and the extent of their fulfillment...
I was really confused because like we don't acknowledge civil and ceremonial laws because Jesus fully fulfilled them not because He abolished it, but because He fulfilled it. Get it? We don't fill the cup anymore, why? not because Jesus destroyed it, but because he filled it already. Is that a good analogy? Please correct me if there is a better analogy. The basis that Jesus did not come to abolish but to fulfill is found in
----------------- Matthew 5:17-20
Christ Came to Fulfill the Law
17"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.18For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.19 Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.20For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ------------------
I think I got the analogy...
So pretend God wanted a drink and in order to go to heaven you need to give Him your drink. Now the cup symbolizes the law. We cannot keep the law, or we cannot fill the cup in order to obtain salvation because there are holes, caused by our sin. Every good deed we do just ends up leaking out, like instantly. Within one second it is empty again. So Jesus comes along and offers to fill the cup. When we accept, He doesn't destroy the cup saying, "God isn't thirsty anymore we don't need to give Him the drink anymore. We don't need the law anymore." Otherwise God is still thirsty. So instead, He fills the cup. He fills it so much to overflowing (grace abounds, my cup overfloweth Psalm 23:5) that the rate at which water exits the cup is so much less than the rate at which water enters the cup. Rate in > Rate out...dv/dt is now positive. Now you have a full cup that you can give to God. So when you go to God, He can drink and let you into heaven. ---------------------
But yea, to paraphrase, in other words? we don't keep the civil and ceremonial laws, but we keep moral laws. So I was confused what this means "we keep" such and such laws. What does this mean? Because we do not need to keep laws to obtain salvation.
We no longer have to obey civil and ceremonial laws yes? but then that means, we have to obey moral laws? Hold up..."we HAVE to obey moral laws?" "HAVE TO"
This is what was confusing for me because we don't have to obey moral laws either. Yes I know that doesn't sound right. But it's true isn't it? We are saved by faith and not by works. We don't have to obey...hmm it does sound weird. We don't have to obey God..what? So does that mean we can continue sinning? May it never be...
---------------- Romans 6:1-4 (NIV) 1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. ----------------
Well anyways the main point of the post... When we say we observe/acknowledge/keep the moral law. Matt put it as the analogy that these are the laws that we look at to become more like Christ.
We don't observe them for salvation but for sanctification
This whole post can be summed up with the last sentence...or the second to last. HAHA
Matt Chung's analogy: Oh God loved me so much and Jesus loved me so much to die for my sins. I am so grateful. How do I become more like Christ? Moral laws okay!
This analogy makes sense, since we don't observe the civil and ceremonial laws to become more like Christ. Right? Except they do have some moral law behind them. We still observe moral law. ----------------------
It was just confusing because it seems like there are two ideas are on different planes. Different modes. Comparison of different fruit. It gets confusing. And to clarify things we should set up some definitions.
Speaking of definitions, what does it mean "to become more like Christ." I mean we don't want to become like God right, because that is the first sin. Trying to become like God. But trying to become more like Christ as in. To bear the fruits...
--------------------- Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
--------------------
Wait what does the last part mean? "Against such things there is no law" Ahhhh man...There is not law against such things? Inputs? I'm just going to publish this now since I've postponed posting it too long XD
This is just something that my dad sent me, that I discovered when I was cleaning my laptop. I thought it was interesting...it's a lot of reading...haha
Preaching from last night about the young ruler.. Natalie Grant Concert – 10 Nov 08
He asked the wrong question. “What should I do to enter heaven?” He sound like more interested in receiving things. He also sounded like more interested in doing things to receive grace. He boasted about keeping the commandments since childhood…..Grace is a free gift. Obviously, Jesus knows his heart.
2. Read verses 21-22. How did Jesus show his love for this young man?
Jesus told him that he lacked one thing, that was to come and follow him. Jesus told him the true way to eternal life and told him about the things that were hindering him from coming to God.
Why did the young man refuse Jesus' invitation? (Mt 6:19-21, 24)
Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”
The young man had much worldly wealth and could not give it up. He did not have any courage to give up his possessions to trust Jesus. He felt righteous, but was not assured of salvation. The wealth was not bad but pursuit of it was stopping him from pursuing the kingdom of God. Where your treasure is there also your heart will be. The young man would have done anything out of his abundance, but not out of sacrifice.
3. Read verses 23-25. Why is it so hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven? (1 Ti 6:9, 10)
1 Timothy 6:9-10 “People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”
Those who pursue only worldly wealth have to take great efforts to achieve it and preserve it. This leaves no time for the work of the Lord. Also this distorts people’s priorities and causes them to do things they normally wouldn’t to fill their desire. Worldly people cannot understand Christians and God’s values.
How hard is it?
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Meaning it is impossible for man to do it alone. To follow Jesus means to leave everything, sell everything, figuratively or literally. And follow Jesus. This is hard because our possessions represent us physically. To give them up means to deny who you are.
4. Read verses 26-27. Why were the disciples more amazed?
The disciples were amazed, because they were hoping on cashing in when Jesus became the new King of the Jews. To the disciples wealth equated with approval from God. So if no rich man could be saved, then their earthly kingdom plans were ruined, and they had no idea how to get into heaven.
How did Jesus answer their questions?
With man it is impossible to enter the Kingdom of God, but with God all things are possible. Jesus gave them hope to trust in him and trust in God, and not rely on riches or righteousness to enter the kingdom of God. When we have confidence in God we can give first priority to God.
Why must we trust Jesus and have pure hearts? (Mt 5:8)
Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”
When we have a pure heart, we do not doubt or worry, but trust the Lord Jesus. Everything is clearer when our heart is pure and not polluted by extra motives. When we have a pure heart of Christ we can be truly happy.
5. Read verses 28-31. What did Jesus promise Peter and all believers? (2 Ti 3:12)
2 Timothy 3:12 “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,”
Jesus promised us that we would receive 100x as much as we lost, and receive persecution from the world, and also we would receive eternal life.
How does his promise strengthen us to have pure hearts and trust in Jesus?
Life is not complicated when priorities come from God. We know we are doing the right thing when we receive persecutions. We know we are in the right place.
It is hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven Matthew 19:16-26
Trying to gain heaven In Matthew 19:16-26, Jesus meets a young rich ruler who asks Him how to get eternal life. The man supposes that some good work may merit his entrance into heaven.
We can clearly see from the New Testament that our “good” works do not earn us salvation, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” [Ephesians 2:8-9] But even the Old Testament was crystal clear on this point. Isaiah said, “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags…” [Isaiah 64:6]. David said, “there is no one who does good, not even one.” [Psalm 14:3]
This young rich ruler had both the Psalms and Isaiah at his disposal, and yet he asks Jesus, “what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” [Matthew 19:16] He did not understand that eternal life is a free gift that can neither be earned, nor bought, but can only be received by faith.
Today, as in the past, many rich people suppose that they can do something to earn heaven. This notion is certainly not unique to the rich, as many middle income and poor people also believe that, but amongst the rich it is an epidemic belief. When we have everything we want we suppose that we deserve, or can earn heaven.
Impossible with man. Possible with God. After a brief discussion on “good” and God’s commandments, Jesus gets to the heart of the matter. He knows that this young man is attached to his wealth. Challenging the man to give it all up and follow Him, Jesus leaves the man with one choice: Jesus or wealth. [“No one can serve two masters…You cannot serve both God and money.” –Matthew 6:24] The man went away sad, but chose his wealth instead of Jesus.
Jesus uses this as an opportunity to teach His disciples about money and its effects upon our likelihood of entering heaven. He compares the likelihood of a rich man entering heaven with that of a camel passing through the eye of a needle. Upon hearing this, the disciples were astonished and asked “Who then can be saved?” [v.25] They asked this because the common thinking of the time was that earthly wealth was God’s blessing upon a godly man. Therefore, if a man is wealthy, he must be godly.
{But had the disciples and their Jewish contemporaries taken Psalm 49 to heart, they would not have equated wealth with godliness. [“But man, despite his riches, does not endure; he is like the beasts that perish. This is the fate of those who trust in themselves…death will feed on them.” “A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish.” –Psalm 49:12-14; 20]}
Jesus’ answer was to say, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” [v.26]
“The eye of the needle” analysis of the text Because of the strength and exaggeration of Jesus’ statement that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, many have proposed alternate translations.
The “needle’s eye” This theory states that a gate in Jerusalem was called the “needle’s eye” and was low and narrow, requiring a man to dismount his camel and for the camel to get on its knees to enter through the gate. Variations of this story claim this gate to be a protection from thieves or invaders. Unfortunately, there is no gate that bears this name which has been uncovered by archaeologists. The desire here to take Jesus’ from “impossible” to “possible” does not hold water.
Camel’s hair rope instead of a camel? Another theory is that Jesus was not referring to a camel, but to a rope made of camel’s hair which was fed through a very large carpet needle. A few Minuscules [a type of Greek manuscript] use the Greek word for ‘rope’, but every major manuscript and all church fathers use the word for “camel”, not “rope”. In fact, the United Bible Society is certain that the original autograph used “camel” instead of “rope”. Again, this is a theory that seeks to change “impossible” into “possible.”
Hebrew idiom This phrase is a common Hebrew idiom [expression of speech] that was simply a way of saying “impossible” by exaggeration. The Jewish Babylonian Talmud refers to an elephant going through a needle as a way of saying that something is impossible [Babylonian Talmud, Berakoth, 55b Babylonian Talmud, Baba Mezi'a, 38b]. Another Talmudic and Midrash idiom is "A needle’s eye is not too narrow for two friends, nor is the world wide enough for two enemies."
Jesus’ intent is to use a hyperbole to further emphasize that it is impossible for a rich man to enter heaven by his own strength. Money tends to have an effect on most of us to the point that those who are rich are particularly susceptible to apathy, indifference, or even animosity when it comes to Jesus. In this way it is impossible for a rich man to enter heaven. If he were saying anything less than “impossible”, the disciples would not likely be astonished and wonder who could be saved. The response of the disciples adds further evidence that Jesus did intend to say exactly what is recorded in our modern translations. If it were not for the wonderful grace of God that woos us to Himself, no one would be saved.
Moreover, it is the rich who generally resist this grace. “ Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you….You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.” [James 5:1,2,5]
“Are they [the rich] not the ones who are slandering the noble name of Him to whom you belong?” [James 2:7]
“Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love Him?” [James 2:5]
This generality that the rich slander God, while the poor tend to recognize their need for God may be what Jesus meant in the beatitudes found in Luke 6:20-27. There He says “blessed are you who are poor” and “woe to you who are rich.” These blessings and woes may refer to spiritual poverty and spiritual self-righteous “wealth” as Matthew’s beatitudes proclaim, but it is also true that worldly wealth tends to be an impediment to gaining heavenly wealth.
Wonderful exceptions to this rule: Joseph of Arimathea was a wealthy man, and yet is called a disciple of Jesus [Matthew 27:57]. Many Old Testament saints enjoyed earthly wealth [Abraham, David, Solomon] though this wealth did at times cause problems. But the passage that clearly states that there will be saints in heaven who were rich on earth can be found in I Timothy 6:17-19: “Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”
There will be saints in heaven who were counted as rich on earth [Hallelujah!], but it is imperative that they not place their hope in that wealth, as it can be a stumbling stone.
Riches, a blessing but a possible stumbling stone The Bible tells us that wealth and the ability to enjoy it is a gift from God. (“Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God.”—Ecclesiastes 5:19) But this wealth can also become a stumbling stone for us that keeps us from living a life of faith. Solomon was blessed with wealth, but that and his many wives became an obstacle for him. Likewise, money can be an obstacle for us today. Jesus said that you cannot serve both Him and money [Matt 6:24], many people think that only rich people serve money, but it is possible to serve money even when you think you don’t have much of it!
If you have done any of the following, you may be serving money even if you think you aren’t rich: * You have withheld from tithing 10% because finances are just too “tight” * You have gotten upset that someone didn’t pay back money they owed you * You complained about how much money you make at work * Spend more money on entertainment than on God’s Kingdom * You say “no” to someone in need when you have the means to help them * You own a car, home, or other possession that is out of pace with your income * You are getting deeper in debt, partly because of your spending habits * You seem to be addicted to shopping * You aren’t saving any money, but you still are taking vacations and buying non-essential items * You argue about money * You dream of what you would do with a jackpot from the lottery * You gamble even a small amount of money * You would consider committing a very small sin if you would get a lot of money in return
You may be richer than you think! If you own your home, you have more than most in the world do. If you have a car, you are richer than most. If you eat out at a restaurant, you spend more than the average monthly income in Nicaragua. If you have ever spent money to lose weight, then you are wealthy in the world’s eyes If you buy a Coke, a lottery ticket, or a cup of coffee, you spent a day’s wages for many humans. If you take the trash out every week, think about the millions who rummage through trash to live One pack of disposable diapers is more than most babies will ever wear A personal computer is an unaffordable luxury to most in the world. A glass of clean water is unheard of in much of the world. If you have a toilet, you have more than 60-80% of people in the world If you take a week’s vacation, you will spend more than the world’s average yearly income Most people in the world make less money in a month than you will spend on dinner and a movie!
What should I do? 1) Don’t love money. Money is a tool, or an instrument to help you do God’s will in your life. The Bible says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” [I Timothy 6:10]
2) Be generous and willing to share. If we practice generosity, it will help us to not put our affections upon money. If we practice selfishness, it will cause us to become more and more attached to our money. Generosity is a fruit of the Spirit. The New Revised Standard Version translates “agathosune” as ‘generosity’ in place of ‘goodness’. We are commanded in I Timothy 6:17-19 to be generous with our money.
3) Tithe. Much could be said about the Bible’s stance on tithing. Malachi 3:9-12 is one of many passages that speak God’s will for us in regards to giving to the church. Give at least 10%.
4) Work hard, spend modestly, save wisely, give generously With your spending, consider these three categories: Daily necessities, reasonable entertainment, and God’s Kingdom.
5) Don’t underestimate the danger of not heeding these commands The Bible says that there are people who have been eager for money and have wandered from the faith [I Timothy 6:10]. Jesus also says that you cannot serve Him and money [Matthew 6:24]. There is danger for you and I if we decide to continue to pursue money and neglect the proper management of God’s resources that He has entrusted us with. Jesus told a story about three servant-managers whom were entrusted with money from God. One servant mismanaged the money and Jesus said of him, “throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” [Matthew 25:30]. Of note: the worthless servant was given less money to manage than the other two men. One man was given twice as much money as him and the other was given five times as much money. So let’s not delude ourselves into thinking that only the rich are at risk for misusing God’s money! Is there not a serious danger to us if we misuse or mismanage the money God has entrusted us with?
Some Proverbs to consider: Proverbs 16:2; “All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD .”
Proverbs 16:25; “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”
Proverbs 23:4; “Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.”
Proverbs 21:13; “If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered.”
Proverbs 19:17; “He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD , and he will reward him for what he has done.”
Proverbs 10:4; “Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.”
Proverbs 11:4; “Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death.”
Ecclesiastes 5:10; “Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.”
"Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf" Proverbs 11:28
Here's something my dad showed me...it really spoke to me, esp when right before I read it I was thinking how things that are happening to me are so unfair:
Here's an interesting biblical explanation (from Charles Stanley Devotionals) when we feel that God seems unjust with our present challenges in life....I hope this makes sense.
READ Deuteronomy 32:1-4
1 Listen, O heavens, and I will speak; hear, O earth, the words of my mouth.
2 Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.
3 I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
4 He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.
Have you ever felt that a situation in your life was an exception to the promises of Scripture? In today’s passage, Moses declares that the Lord is faithful and all His ways are just, but we have all been in circumstances that seemed wrong and blatantly unfair. And because God did not intervene, we’ve struggled to reconcile our experience with Moses’ statement about Him.
Scripture is filled with examples of godly people who faced hardships that seemed totally unfair. Joseph was sold as a slave, David was hunted like an animal by King Saul, and the apostle Paul suffered with a “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7-10).
Situations like these can cause us to question whether God is good and just. If left to fester in our minds, these doubts may give way to discouragement. We can easily start thinking, What is the use in serving the Lord? Look what it has gotten me—suffering!
It’s important to remember that what we know about God from His Word is more accurate than what we feel. Scripture tells us that God is good and just, so we can know with certainty that He has a fantastic purpose for us in whatever we experience.
God allows each of us to face some trials that we won’t understand to our satisfaction this side of heaven. Our job is not to comprehend everything He does and permits, but to know how to respond. He’ll make all things right in eternity. In the meantime, trust the Rock when all else is shaky.
I am having a real tough time in school right now... I just keep thinking about school that I can't concentrate on anything else, not even my own school work...it's just so overwhelming and I should probably be studying right now cuz I don't have time to waste, but then again this isn't a waste right...?
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So I took a quiz in ENEE204(Basic Circuit Theory). And the professor is just giving me such a difficult time.
I guess I am just overreacting...but basically, I need to do get a 100 on this quiz so that I can really ensure an A in the class. And based on what we are learning in class right now...I think this is the only shot I have at getting a 100. Because the next quiz is going to be so hard, I was planning that that quiz would be the one that I will drop.
I need to get 100 on ALL of my quizzes(with exception to the one he drops). Like I can't stress that enough. I need to get 100 on ALL of my quizzes...in order to ensure an A. Otherwise I have a GREAT GREAT possibility of getting a B in the class. Quizzes are 60% of our grade...and I'm not doing too well in the homework (20%) part either...because he grades for accuracy...
Anyways, this quiz is really the one quiz. The ONE. The quiz that matters!
So I was taking the quiz and I was having a tough time. But slowly I was getting it. And I eventually got the right answer...BUT as I was checking my work, I made a huge mistake and changed my answer (to the wrong one)...my professor then called time...so I rushed to change it back to what I had originally...
but it wasn't enough time...the professor saw me and gave me an automatic 0...
And my heart started beating, cuz now I need to work extra hard, without sacrificing my 244 class. To get an A now...
As I was walking to my car, I started tearing up...but there were people around so I held it in...
What makes me sad is just how that professor thinks of me. And this isn't even the first time that he got mad at me. I mean I'm not doing things wrong on purpose. I have no intention to give him disrespect. I am not disrespecting him on purpose. But he always thinks I'm so disrespectful. And it's just so hard and difficult to talk to him like about questions that I have...but I still do...
I am going to be stressing out for the next two weeks so much. I have one more quiz, and two more homework assignments (which take two days each) left for ENEE204. And I have about two more homework sets for ENEE244.
My status in each class to get an A:
ENEE204: I need to get 100 on the next quiz, which is really really hard to do considering the subject we are going to be quizzed on. And I need at least an A on the next two homework assignments.
ENEE244: I need to get a 91 on the final to get an A. But that only leaves me for basically one mistake, because each mistake ranges up to 8 points....
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I am just so stressed to get good grades right now because I'm planning to go to graduate school (minimum GPA 3.5) and I'm trying to get an internship and be able to apply for merit based scholarships.
This is all just so stressful to me because all the hard work I did in high school, now basically doesn't matter....and people only see how I'm doing in college now. So I'm really stressed not to mess up.
It just bothers me so much because people are having it so easy (easy professors, easy TA's, massive curves,). And some people in my class got this exam from other semesters that was EXACTLY the same as the midterm we took yesterday. So they all made the average to be 80.1.
Like, I'm working so hard and I'm not able to go out (I miss out on so much these days) and I'm still not doing as well as I hoped in school...
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I guess the main problem here is pride. I always did well in school...
But now in college I feel like my life, my career is falling apart (over exaggeration). I am no different than anyone else. How can I compete for scholarships, internship positions, job positions, and graduate school???
How can I compete....even people who I always did better than are getting better GPA's than I am. And I didn't even get into any programs. It was really tough that I didn't get into any program. I guess I wasn't eligible for the Scholar's Program since I turned in my application late (by 16 minutes because my essay got completely deleted....so I had to rewrite it at midnight).
But I really feel like I'm losing control. I can't control how well I do anymore.
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But I was thinking...maybe God is trying to tell me something. I mean I heard this from Vincent once when he was going through something similar to what I'm going through now... and it's this:
That God takes away things from you to get your attention...and in my case that would be the control I have over my studies.
Maybe I just need to work harder. Not maybe...but I DO need to work harder...but still God allowed me to come to this point...why???
And I think that He's doing this to help me refocus on 5 Main Points (not in any particular order):
1. Letting Him satisfy me, let Him be my true only and true source of happiness 2. Remember that what I'm doing is for His glory 3. To depend on God fully and not to worry to release hold onto my life, that God will provide (Jehovah Jireh) 4. To grow as a student, (better time management, better study habits, learning how to prioritize) 5. To realize and be thankful for all of His blessings
1. Letting Him satisfy me Philippians 3:7-9 7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
Just reading this, I remember how thankful I am for all the things that God does for me. I am just so thankful, so grateful for the love that He showed me through the acts and love of His Son, Jesus Christ. This is so amazing how Paul considers everything a loss compared to knowing Christ Jesus. It reminds me that grades are not all that important compared to knowing God. And just knowing that God saved me already. Likewise, grades I consider a loss, I consider rubbish, I consider NOTHING compared to knowing Christ Jesus. Compared to God, my troubles, my grades, school...school does not even come close. No match. No comparison. Hands down.. "for whose sake I have lost all things"
2. Remember that what I'm doing is for His glory 1 Corinthians 15:58 (New International Version) 58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. Psalm 115:1 1(A) Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, (B) for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!
This is so comforting as well. That as long as I give myself fully to the work of the Lord...my labor in the Lord is not in vain. Christ alone is worthy of our worship...I will not give unto the Lord that which costs me nothing. For He is worthy. For He is great and greatly to be praised. (I just quoted some phrases...but I don't remember where I heard them...songs? sermons?)
3.To depend on God fully and not to worry. Let God take control and surrender it all. God will provide. Philippians 4:6-7 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This is similar to the last one. But I just like this verse because it commands us not to worry. Haha it's kind of selfish, but I am just comforted when someone, especially coming from the Word of God, tells me not to worry. And I know God will provide. His eye is on the sparrow. If God can provide for the birds, He will provide for me my needs. All according to His sovereign will.
4. To grow as a student (better time management, study habits, and learning how to prioritize..) I need to learn how to manage my time better and prioritize. I really do study all day. Maybe from 4 until 10. But it is really light study. It is studying while on my laptop. I think God is telling me that I can't waste my time like that anymore. I can't waste my time on AIM, or on Facebook. But of course there's nothing wrong with them, but if I have to study, it's best I stay away from internet or anything that can distract me from studying. I have a cell phone anyways, People can just call me if they need me =]. (But I know some people turn off their cell phones while they study too.) But yeah, now I realize, college is not a joke. I really need to work hard for God's glory. Not wasting my time on Earth. and not being lazy.
There's a time for everything. I just need to know how to manage them and place more time in those places according to priority.
5. To realize and be thankful for all of His blessings I don't realize that I am in the United States of America. I don't realize that I go to the University of Maryland-College Park, one of the top engineering schools in the nation. I don't realize that I was accepted into the A James Clark School of Engineering, a limted enrollment program. I don't realize that I'm paying in-state tuition. I don't realize that I lot of people dream to get into CP. I don't realize that getting an education is a privelege. I don't realize that I don't have to work for my own education.
I don't realize that I am plugged into a strong Bible based campus ministry with godly men and women who are passionate and zealous for the Lord and His people. I don't realize that I have such a loving church who literally supports and takes good care of me. I don't realize that I have such good friends =] I don't realize that I have such firm and godly parents. ---------------------------
Ahhh yes almost done!! I am going to have a tough couple of weeks, but I know God is with me. God is carrying me. His will will be done. He is great, magnificent, glorious, beautiful, awesome! My Savior, my God, my King, my Strong Tower, my Hiding place, my Comforter, my Healer, my Friend, my Father.
"And so Lord I'm giving it all to You. I surrender it all. Lord have Your way in me. May I be holy and pleasing to You!" -In Jesus Name, Amen
Psalms 73:21-28 21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, 22 I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. 23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. 24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. 28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.
I was doing homework today and was just stressing out so much and then I decided to listen to some songs...and I came to this song, "Draw me close to You"
It's is truly amazing because I feel like I have known this song for like as long as I can remember. I know this song inside and out (not really). I've played this song like a million times during worship service. I've sang this song, heard this song, I can probably play it on the spot. That's how long I have known this song. And yet...I feel like today it really..I don't know it's like as if the people singing the song knew exactly how I felt and I felt like crying because it (almost) perfectly describes how I feel.
Draw me close to you Never let me go I lay it all down again To hear you say that I'm your friend Help me find a way to bring me back to you
You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed You're all I want, Help me know you are near
You are my desire No one else will do Cause no one else Can take you place To feel the warmth of Your embrace Help me find a way to bring me back to you
O Lord, this is too difficult for me, I've been holding it too long...I need someone by my side...can I cry on Your shoulder...hold me now..please
All I Can Say by David Crowder Band
Lord I'm tired So tired from walking And Lord I'm so alone And Lord the dark Is creeping in Creeping up To swallow me I think I'll stop Rest here a while
And didn't You see me cry'n? And didn't You hear me call Your name? Wasn't it You I gave my heart to? I wish You'd remember Where you sat it down
Chorus: And this is all that I can say right now i know it's not much And this is all that I can give yeah that's my everything
Bridge: I didn't notice You were standing here I didn't know that That was You holding me I didn't notice You were cry'n too I didn't know that That was You washing my feet
33He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34"My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."
35Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."
O Dear Lord,
I may not be going through the struggles of Paul, or of Jesus. I may not be in poverty, or be starving. I do not have a wife who is cheating on me. My loved ones, my parents and a lot of my friends are still alive. I live in America. I have no reason to complain or be in stress. I go to a University and am blessed with knowledge and a good education. I am blessed with godly parents who can guide me and are always providing for me. I am truly blessed
But I am going through a really difficult time right now.
I don’t know Your purpose in allowing me to have these feelings Lord Father. These feelings I dwell upon day and night. Even though I know that I shouldn't be.
But Lord I am weak.
These feelings affect my relationship with my family, my friends, and my relationship with You. It takes my mind off of You. O Father, this is not good. I'm digging myself in a hole that gets harder and harder to crawl out of.
Lord Father, I need a miracle. I need Your mercy. Your compassion. Your grace.
Lord Father, don't You see how I cry so? Don't You see how sad I am. Don't You know my thoughts and feelings? How difficult is this time?
It is one of the worst pains I have ever felt. It brings me down. It ruins the time that I have with my family. It ruins the time that I have with my friends. Why? Because this pain is so painful that I am constantly thinking about it. And as I ruin the time that I have with those I love, I put others in burden. I put those I love in unnecessary wonder. I put those I love in uncomfortable times.
Lord Father, I am reaching the edge.
Father, these feelings...please take them away. Lord Father please deliver me from this pain that I have so long beared. Lord Father please take it away. Cast it as far as the east is from the west. May I be free from the bondage of my feelings, my sin, my selfish nature.
BUT Father..........IF IT IS YOUR WILL
Continue. May Your will be done. May You be glorified to the most high. May You reveal Your purpose and Your will.
Lord Father, I will follow, REGARDLESS…I will seek HOLINESS, GODLINESS, CHRIST-LIKENESS regardless. I will be SATISFIED by Your INFINITE love.
AND THROUGH YOUR LOVE, I will still love. I will still love those who sin against me. I will still love those who cause me pain. I will still love You. I will still worship You. I will still follow You. I will still seek after You. I will still praise You!
Please carry me Father as I go through this. Give me strength to overcome. May I find the joy and the peace that surpasses human understanding. I plead with You Father, do not withdraw Your love from me. Please give me a spirit of power, love and discipline. Give me a spirit of inspiration, passion, and zeal for You and Your word. Give me hope, and give me comfort...
"Give me joy, give me peace, give the chance to be free, give me anything that brings You glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain...
But if that's what it takes to praise You...Jesus bring the rain..."
After all that I have been through this semester, I think about this passage and felt like I kind of identify myself or relate with this young man who encountered Jesus...
Mark 10 (English Standard Version)
The Rich Young Man 17 And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" 18And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" 20And he said to him, "Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth." 21And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." 22 Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
23And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!" 24And the disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said to them again, "Children, how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." 26And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him,[c] "Then who can be saved?" 27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God." 28Peter began to say to him, "See, we have left everything and followed you." 29Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, 30who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. 31But many who are first will be last, and the last first." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a basic summary, there was a rich young man who went up to Jesus and asked, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus then responded, "You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother." The rich young man responded by telling Jesus that he has done all of these things, but Jesus responds "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
I just noticed that when Jesus names the commandments that the rich man had kept since his youth, Jesus only mentions a few commandments. The commandments that Jesus does not mention, I believe is what the rich man failed to keep:
You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourselves an idol. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
I'm not so sure about the last two commandments mentioned above, but I'm pretty sure about the first two.
Now for my testimony.......
When I was younger, I did not really have to go through a lot of trials and pain. Nothing drastic ever happened. Everything was like perfect (kinda). I used to watch TV or hear the news. I would hear about starving third world countries. People always told me, "Henrik, you are so lucky to be living in the US. Don't you know that there are tons of immigrants trying to live here?" I would hear about people's deaths and hear about orphans. I would hear about miscarriages, abnormal births, blind people, deaf people. I would hear about poverty, rape, guns, violence. I heard about love too, watched dramas, loss of the ones you love, loss of the girl you love, loss of your spouse, loss of your children, never getting married, never having children, never experiencing love....
and I go around thinking, "man...I hope that stuff never happens to me" and at the SAME TIME I always prayed, "Dear Lord, help me to grow spiritually to see You more and to love You more."
It is still my prayer, but I always lived my life with this declaration,
"Oh yea I'll be Christian, BUT I won't go through all the pain hopefully. Hopefully I'll just live a nice comfortable life. Have good friends. Go to middle school, do well. Go to high school, do well. Get into a good college, do well. Get a good job. Find a nice girl, get married have kids, help them grow spiritually, support them, then LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER"
These are what I really hoped for. And I was thinking that, as long as I had these things, I would be fine, and I would always declare, "Yes, God is my God. Jesus is my savior."
I felt the rich young man from the passage because like the rich young man who owned riches, I OWNED MY life. And I asked God the same question, "What should I do to go to heaven?" and He said the same thing Jesus said, "go sell all, come follow me"
I needed to sell all, give up ownership over my life, and give it to God. But like the rich man, I did not fully understand. I didn't know what it means to give it up my life.
Eagerly I said, "yes yes Jesus I believe You are the way, the truth, and the life, I truly believe that, I will follow You yes yes. You are my Lord, my King, my Savior, my God" I always hoped that I wouldn't have to go through the pain. After holding onto my life and the way I wanted it to be, I realized that I wasn't growing, I finally declared, "Lord I'm stuck, I want to seek You with my whole heart. Teach me dear Lord. Open the eyes of my heart, I give it ALL to you because I believe in You. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!! I'm desperate for Your touch..."
I told God that yes He is my God, but like the rich man holding onto his riches, I was still holding onto my life. I was still holding onto the identity I created. I was still holding onto my reputation, my dreams, my selfish ambitions, my desires, my time, and my self.
I was really desperate for God to come in and change me. And in His perfect timing, He honored my prayer, my declaration. I began to understand more and more. (I don't know if this goes against the idea of predestination, but I'm just speaking from my point of view, the way I see it)
When some of these things were taken away from me, I was in real pain and disappointment thinking "man this is exactly what I was hoping SOOO much would never happen to me" but here it happened.
I thought I could control my life and live it the way I wanted it to be. I became so frustrated; I felt like I lost control.
I did not know that it would be hard to be a Christian. I did not know that in changing, I would have to deny myself and lose what I held dear. I did not know that I would have to go through true trials and pain, to grow and become stronger, learning to depend only on God the whole way through.
Now goes my new declaration: "I am a Christian in love with God the Father, Jesus is my Savior. I will give up my life for Him. No matter what happens. At all costs. No matter what I lose for Him. Anything for Him so He can get my full undivided attention. His grace is sufficient for me. God is enough for me. To live is Christ and to die is gain. I give myself as a living sacrifice for Him. All glory to God in the highest!"
I really like this song, no one knows it though haha but I like to meditate on the lyrics:
I Surrender All by Clay Crosse
I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand In the middle of the battle I beleive I've finally found I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours
Chorus: I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams Though the price to follow costs me everything I surrender all my human soul desires If sacrafice requires That all my kingdoms fall I surrender all
If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain If the focus of my vision is the status I attain My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise
Bridge: Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacraficial fire If all I have is all that You desire I surrender all
