But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus...

Psalm 73
1Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. [a]
5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity [b] ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. [c]
11 They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"
12 This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.
13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

O Father...
These wicked people. Why do they get to have what they want. All the time. Why does everything seem to work out for them. They are not miserable. I am miserable. Lord Father, even my christian brothers and sisters. They continue doing things that I don't think are right. But they think there's nothing wrong with it? Why, Father? Why can't I do those things? Why am I given the convictions...even after they hear my convictions, they just say, "o." They don't think its necessary. But Lord, every pastor says its necessary. Every book out there says its necessary. So why not these friends of mine?
O Lord why do they prosper. Why when I do the right thing and they do the wrong thing, they prosper. I'm here Lord trying to do all the things you told me to do. It is so tempting to slip and just do what my fellow Christian brothers are doing. It is so tempting to just do what they are doing.
O Lord how long do I have to endure this hardship. How long will this go on? What can I do? Whatever I do, I will just get heartbroken. I will lose something. Every path leads to pain. What can I do? Pain follows me wherever I go.
How about my Christian brothers? They seem to be happy all the time. And I know Lord that perhaps they are not happy deep down. But I can't think that way anymore. Who am I kidding? They are happy Lord. They are. So why can't I?
Why does every situation turn out that way? Not every situation turns out that way?

²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

O Lord, when things go against me, I forget so easily. I forget You Father. I forget that You are next to me, crying with me, looking at me with compassion telling me, "Henrik hold on...hold on...hang in there..."

Lord give me strength to stay faithful. Lord help me to remember You. May I no longer be sorrowed by things of this Earth, but by things that break Your heart.

²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

Lord, draw me close to You. Hear my prayer...