But if that's what it takes to praise You Jesus...

Mark 14:33-36

³³He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ³⁴"My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."

³⁵Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. ³⁶"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

O Dear Lord,

I may not be going through the struggles of Paul, or of Jesus. I may not be in poverty, or be starving. I do not have a wife who is cheating on me. My loved ones, my parents and a lot of my friends are still alive. I live in America. I have no reason to complain or be in stress. I go to a University and am blessed with knowledge and a good education. I am blessed with godly parents who can guide me and are always providing for me. I am truly blessed

But I am going through a really difficult time right now.

I don’t know Your purpose in allowing me to have these feelings Lord Father. These feelings I dwell upon day and night. Even though I know that I shouldn't be.

But Lord I am weak.

These feelings affect my relationship with my family, my friends, and my relationship with You. It takes my mind off of You. O Father, this is not good. I'm digging myself in a hole that gets harder and harder to crawl out of.

Lord Father, I need a miracle. I need Your mercy. Your compassion. Your grace.

Lord Father, don't You see how I cry so? Don't You see how sad I am. Don't You know my thoughts and feelings? How difficult is this time?

It is one of the worst pains I have ever felt. It brings me down. It ruins the time that I have with my family. It ruins the time that I have with my friends. Why? Because this pain is so painful that I am constantly thinking about it. And as I ruin the time that I have with those I love, I put others in burden. I put those I love in unnecessary wonder. I put those I love in uncomfortable times.

Lord Father, I am reaching the edge.

Father, these feelings...please take them away. Lord Father please deliver me from this pain that I have so long beared. Lord Father please take it away. Cast it as far as the east is from the west. May I be free from the bondage of my feelings, my sin, my selfish nature.

BUT Father..........IF IT IS YOUR WILL

Continue. May Your will be done. May You be glorified to the most high. May You reveal Your purpose and Your will.

Lord Father, I will follow, REGARDLESS…I will seek HOLINESS, GODLINESS, CHRIST-LIKENESS regardless. I will be SATISFIED by Your INFINITE love.

AND THROUGH YOUR LOVE, I will still love. I will still love those who sin against me. I will still love those who cause me pain. I will still love You. I will still worship You. I will still follow You. I will still seek after You. I will still praise You!

Please carry me Father as I go through this. Give me strength to overcome. May I find the joy and the peace that surpasses human understanding. I plead with You Father, do not withdraw Your love from me. Please give me a spirit of power, love and discipline. Give me a spirit of inspiration, passion, and zeal for You and Your word. Give me hope, and give me comfort...

"Give me joy, give me peace, give the chance to be free, give me anything that brings You glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain...

But if that's what it takes to praise You...Jesus bring the rain..."

In Jesus Name,
Amen